JOHNS, PIMPS AND STREETWALKERS
The Systematic Destruction of Residential Appraising
Copyright © Michael N. Read, April 1, 2009
Not so long ago I had multiple clients. They would call me if they needed my professional services and trusted me to perform a satisfactory service. I’m a streetwalker. I drive and walk the streets looking at houses and photographing them from the street (outcalls) and sometimes going inside to determine condition (in calls).
This worked well for many years until the Federal Government got involved in the late 1980s. The Feds discovered that a few streetwalkers had exaggerated their claims of professionalism and service and declared in the 1989 DIARRHEA that all streetwalkers must be licensed and regulated by the state in which they operate. The states got together and formulated a set of rules for streetwalkers they called USCRAP that outlined in minute detail how streetwalkers were to do business.
Well, we studied USCRAP, passed the tests and got our state certifications and went back to walking the streets like before. Unfortunately our clients, like typical JOHNS, wanted more and more for their money. They pressured us into providing service ‘over and above’ the typical service. If we refused they would blacklist us and no longer engage our services or pay us for services rendered. We would complain to the State regulators and they would do nothing since the JOHNS were not regulated by the States.
This continued to get worse over the years until 2008 when the financial system collapsed due to the JOHNS’ greed and over indulgence. Again the Feds stepped in, not to regulate the JOHNS but to stimulate them with more money and punish the streetwalkers with a new law HVCC (Help Violators Cover Crimes) so we will no longer be allowed to take calls from our clients.
Theoretically the JOHNS will no longer pressure us directly to provide ‘special services’ above and beyond USCRAP. Orders for our services will not be directed to any particular streetwalker but must be funneled through third parties known as Streetwalker Management Companies or PIMPS.
This makes the JOHNS happy now they have more money and can call the PIMPS to order any type of extraordinary service they desire without breaking the law because the PIMPS are not regulated either. With our access to our clients foreclosed we are now forced to use the PIMPS to get our business contacts and give up half or more of our fee in the process.
But wait, there’s more …
Now the PIMPS can relay messages to individual streetwalkers about servicing a particular JOHN who has requested a ‘special service’. If the JOHN does not like the service provided by a streetwalker he can ‘blacklist’ them with the PIMP, who can demand retribution or withhold payment for the service.
It seems to me like we’re back to square one, but with half or less of our fee.
Here’s my suggestion …
The 200,000 or so appraisers in the USA should form a union and call for a national strike. This will allow us to take DIARRHEA, USCRAP, HVCC, the JOHNS and the PIMPS and flush the whole mess down the WC.
